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THE WRITTEN ABSURD
Polite Euphemisms For Those Unmentionable Naughty Parts |
I won't be including any so-called euphemisms that are too crude because I don't believe they properly represent euphemisms. Euphemisms are supposed to be replacement words for unpleasant or explicit words and should be playful, not overly crude. Admittedly I have bad taste in humor so what's mildly crude to me might be downright disgusting to you.
These euphemisms are scattered across the internet, stuck in my head or were told to me when I was too young to get the inside joke. I chose some of my favorites. |
| FEMALE UPPER REGIONS |
FEMALE NETHER REGIONS |
THE REAR REGIONS |
MALE NETHER REGIONS |
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| Double-Whammies |
Bearded Taco |
Crack |
Bottle Rocket |
| Hindenburgs |
X-Box
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Sliced Bread |
Cyclops |
| Pointer-Sisters |
Wookie |
Bum |
Curious George |
| Bra Buddies |
Man's Ruin |
Keister |
Blow Pop |
| Jemimas |
Oval Office |
Tooshie |
Bat and balls |
| Flapjacks |
Sword Swallower |
Rump Roast |
Mini-me |
| Headlights |
Peach |
Traffic Jam |
Lewinski Lunch |
| Dueling Banjos |
Easy Bake Oven |
Tail |
Womb Raider |
Loaves and fish smell
(this one crosses over into the next section) |
Postage Stamp
(you lick it, you stick it, you send it on its way) |
Junk In The Trunk |
Hairy and the Hendersons |
| Bazooms |
Taffy Puller |
Fanny |
Three's Company |
| Chihuahuas |
Man-Eater |
Wide Load |
Leaky Faucet |
| Tahitis |
Bermuda Triangle |
BackPack |
Roto-rooter |
| Mosquito bites |
Fortune Nookie |
Booty or Bootie |
Frank 'N' Beans |
| Betty & Wilma |
Missile Silo |
Biscuits |
Mr. Potato Head |
| Pumpkins |
Theme Park |
Crapshoot |
Magic Johnson |
| Glad Bags |
Arby's With Fur |
Cupcakes |
Palm Pilot |
| Betty Boops |
Moan Pie |
Derriere |
Divining Rod |
| Flotation Devices |
Fun Tunnel |
The Bottom Line |
Captain Howdy |
| Bikini Stuffers |
Cockpit |
Can |
The Incredible Bulk |
| Spark Plugs |
God's Master Plan |
Buns |
Chimney Cleaner |
| Mammies |
The Promised Land |
Sweet Cheeks |
Pope John Pole |
| Milk Shakes |
Slobbering Bulldog |
Poop Deck |
Lincoln Log |
| Twin Peaks |
Pencil Sharpener |
Patootie |
Taco Warmer |
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Pee Wee's Playhouse |
Wazoo |
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I can add more as I come across ones I like.
If you have a favorite one feel free to email me.
Here's one from an emailer:
This is an Australian euphemism - A Tassie.
This is the slang name for the Australian state of Tasmania.
If you want to know why it is also applied to the female nether region just look at a map.
Another Emailer writes:
For the guys: Big Jim and the twins.
For the women: The Playtex Penitentiary and Lung Warts.
Email sent in:
A Girlfriend described a sanitory towel as a MAN HOLE COVER
this made me giggle i hope you find space for this on your page
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