FATHER TED FOR CHRISTMAS

I must preach the good word: Father Ted is one of the best sitcoms ever. Yes, if you're religiously sensitive you will be offended and not appreciate all of the pokes at Catholicism. However, if you can let go of your dogma for a couple of hours you will enjoy yourself immensely. Try the Father Ted Christmas Special which is unlike most specials you'll see.

The entire cast. Left to right: Father Ted, Father Jack, Father Dougal McGuire, and Mrs. Doyle.

Otherwise known as "A Christmassy Ted" The Father Ted Christmas special is a show I pop into the old DVD player about this time every year. It goes hand in hand with my other Christmas specials that I've collected, much of them unlikely choices such as Are You Being Served's episode about the Grace Bros company holiday lunch (which shows how cheap Mr. Grace is) or The Vicar of Dibley's take on the birth of Jesus (in their story Mary is played by an airhead).

Of course I have classic American Christmas specials such as Charlie Brown and the original Simpsons Christmas special but leave it to the Brits to really make you laugh. I know sometimes it is hard for Americans to appreciate absurd humor that often has some shock value but a show like Father Ted did it so well you're apt to forgive them when you find yourself laughing.

It's unfortunate that an American version of Father Ted will never be made and even if it did I have a hard time imagining it to be faithful to the spirit of the British original. Executives would be sure to water down the show until the humor was washed away because they're afraid of offending religion even if it is the religious who most might appreciate this kind of humor. Not every religious American is dogmatic and Father Ted isn't really a reflection on The Almighty Above; the show has more to do with the flaws of three priests down on earth. Let's face it, these priests are an embarrassment to The Pope, but I wouldn't mind having a "cup of tea" at The Craggy Island Parish.

[Spoiler Alert] A Christmassy Ted starts out with Father Ted getting into the holiday mood when there's a knock on the door. A baby has been left on the doorstep. Could we be in for another sentimental allusion to the Christ Child? No, because the person who was leaving the baby got the address wrong. Father Ted, in a poke at several holiday specials, comments on how if the baby had been delivered into their hands there would be all kinds of Christmas baby antics. And then the show dispenses with that storyline cliche and moves into it's usual weird territory with The Golden Cleric Award. An award similar to an Oscar or Golden Globe for the Priest of the year. Father Ted is chosen to receive it.

How Father Ted ever earned such an award is a mystery because he is one of the worst priests ever. Nevertheless, The Golden Cleric is his and now someone is out to steal it from him. By the end of the show we find out who.

A subplot of this special and a memorable comedy sketch in genral is when Father Ted and Father Dougal McGuire find themselves lost in a department store while Christmas shopping. Suddenly they realize they are in the Women's Lingerie Department. They worry about the possible scandal of publicly being caught near bras but then they stumble upon more lost priests who can't figure out how to get out of the women's department. The scene turns into a parody of a Vietnam movie with the priests as soldiers having to escape the jungles of lingerie and one priest even being injured violently by a bra.

Yes, very absurd humor indeed and wonderful. I realize it's hard to even explain why that scene is funny but it all has to do with how it is played out by the talented cast.

Before jumping into a Christmassy Ted I might suggest a Father Ted primer. There are three seasons and I would watch at least the first one so you could get a feel for the characters. Besides Father Ted and Father Dougal there is Father Jack and Mrs. Doyle. Father Jack is a wretched drunk bordering on inhuman and Mrs. Doyle is a suffering housekeeper with outdated views on the roles of women and men. She will force a cup of tea on you because making Tea is the love of her life. This becomes a gag in the Christmas special when she is given a Tea Making Machine that she loathes but cannot bring herself to tell Father Ted how much she hates it. One night, when it is dark and everyone is asleep, she assassinates it with several blows to its vital components.

Sadly the actor for Father Ted passed on right after taping the final episode. Dermot Morgan was only 45 when he had a heart attack. Which is too bad since his depiction of the gambling priest punished to babysit Dougal and Father Jack on Craggy Island has a popular following here in the states. When a show lives on past its original air dates you know you have something special. I wish the cast could have all gotten together to do one more Holiday Ted Special but we'll just have to imagine that one in our heads I guess.

Father Dougal McGuire, yes, he is as stupid as he looks.


Father Ted is a hapless gambler. "That money was just resting in my account."


"I like to make my own tea, thank you very much." Mrs. Doyle will not have a machine take away her life's main joy.


No, this man is not dead. He's Father Jack, and he's been left in the kids daycare section of the department store.


Father Ted thanks his supporters, er, sort of. His speech was more of a vendetta.


The coveted Golden Cleric Award for the best Catholic.