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CULT CLASSIC : Sssssss
Reviewed by Cartoonist Jeff Swenson

That's pronounced "sssssss" with seven s's. This is a cult classic I avoided at the video store when I actually still rented from a video store. Now I know I should have seen this snake horror gem earlier.
Maybe one of the reasons I avoided this 1973 film was because of the title. "Sssssss" is a pretty ridiculous thing for the clerk at the video rental store to have to pronounce when saying what time each movie is due back.

I had enough problems one time just buying a used DVD of Sorority House Massacre from one snooty underage girl who kept insisting that the sale was two for one price--but I only wanted one movie, and then she made sarcastic comments about my taste in movies. Fortunately, she was rather homely and not very pretty so my feelings weren't hurt very much. My wife however, was offended, because while she doesn't approve of my taste in movies either, it's her job to make fun of my choices not some teenage critic.

Sssssss (God, this is going to be impossible to spell check) is about a mad researcher, Dr. Stoner (played by Strother Martin), whose field of study is snakes or herpetology. His daughter, a rather attractive nerd named Kristina (played by Heather Menzies), assists him in a lab that doubles as a home. Dr. Stoner is looking to get more grant funding for his twisted research and visits a colleague at a local university and there meets David (played by Dirk Benedict; Battlestar Galactica, A-Team), a student who is recommended for a job with Dr. Stoner. Dr. Stoner takes him in and they begin to do research on snakes that range from the harmless to the very poisonous--such as an African Mamba that has several key scenes (must have had a good agent).

As would have it, in order to be safe in the world of snake research, one must be inoculated against the venom of numerous species that could cause instant paralysis and eventual death. Dr. Stoner starts a process of giving David regular shots which cause him to be sleepy and then causes horrific nightmares, or so it would seem from his tossing and turning. As time goes on, David notices his skin is peeling and his overall facial structure is slowly changing. Something is not quite right about those shots.

Similar to The Fly, David is being slowly turned into a snake. We get a hint about what is going to happen to David in the end when we witness a transaction between Dr. Stoner and a Carnival owner who displays freaks (they were still doing that in 1973?). Later David, while courting Kristina, finds himself at the carnival and sees what happened to the last guy who worked for Dr. Stoner. Even with the seventies cheezy make-up effects it's still pretty creepy.

Ssssss is a cult classic for the very fact of it's campy premise, however, beyond the snake make-up which isn't too bad to be honest, there are no special effects. All of the snakes are real and the producers even boast about it in a written statement at the beginning of the film. The most impressive snake filmed is the King Cobra. It is amazing how it stands erect, exactly like a king would, and challenges anyone who would try to take away its throne.

I don't want to give away too much but there is also a live mongoose that plays a vital role in a very satisfying if not fatalistic ending. Though, to animal lovers it might offend. It sure looked like the mongoose was wrestling with and killed a live snake. That's hard to tell. I didn't check for any disclaimers at the end of the film: "No animals were hurt in the making of this film", etc. And probably before the eighties, snakes would not have been considered important enough to protect from harm.

I caught Sssssss on On-Demand cable. It's worth your time if you've been following my taste in entertainment on this site. I also have a fetish for sexy nerd girls, and while Kristina isn't the hottest nerd girl I've seen on celluloid she is very realistic in the part.

Heather Menzies in Sssssss
Hot Nerd Loves Snake Guy
Most times, the producers cast a female who is completely unrealistic as a scientist--remember how stupid Tara Reid came off in Alone In The Dark (even in the previews)? Heather Menzies looks and feels like a smart girl with a sexy body underneath. In the movie she's blind as a bat without her glasses and in one scene David convinces her to take her clothes off to go skinny-dippin'. We don't get to see too much but it is fuel for your dirty imagination.

For the ladies, I'd say you'd have Dirk Benedict to look at--though, more likely a feminist analogy could be construed from a movie about a guy who turns into a snake.


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